Lost in Uncertainties

My mom has the shallowest well of tears, it is an oasis. She cries at anything instantly, she’s our Judy Ann. I cannot blame her though. She’d been into toughest of times since her childhood. Actually, her stories were our scarecrow: eat rice or we’ll end up eating corn everyday like she did when she was a kid, study hard or else we’ll go nowhere than pulling grass in the mountain on a very hot day, behave or else they will send us to live forever with our disciplinarian relatives/grandparents. She has many award-winning moments but I have one unforgettable: that night she cried heaven asking and/or begging me to stay and take care of Papa while she’ll go home to find ways for the hospital bills.

My wife has the driest well of tears, it is a desert. She seldom cries, she’s my womanized Man of Steel. I am proud of her though. She’d been into toughest of times, braved all her problems alone, and eventually emerged as a strong and assertive lady. She fought for her principles and never ceases to surrender amidst life’s trials and/or rejections from the society. I am glad she succeeded yet many times she fell. I am there too, but she never shed a tear until that one unforgettable moment: she is really scared and in tears telling me what might happen with our baby, to her, and to our future family.

I am a closet cry baby. I cry in silent and when the lights are out. Others might think I have a desert of tears but in reality, it is an oasis. I used to be a certified cry baby when I am kid but after many times of being tagged a weakling, balat-sibuyas, or bading, I decided to repackage. The new me is a warrior, a MAN who never get hurt and cry, a rock. My mom begged me dramatically and I was cold-hearted; my wife wanted a crying shoulder and I was insensitive. I knew very well I succeeded in hiding the oasis in me but in the process I hurt my loved ones and most importantly, myself.

I guess I will wet my bed tonight.