Lost in Uncertainties

They said I’m his favorite because I looked like him. We have the same hair, height, nose and built. His friends usually joked I am really his, and I remind them of his younger days.

He was 26 when he had me, his first son. I was 26 now and will be having my first baby, my son, any day this week. Ultrasound results show he looked like me, and most of the time I wish he will really get some of my best features, and of France of course. I am so excited like never before. Perhaps my father was excited and wished the same too years ago for his first son.

I might be his favorite, but he is my least favorite of my parents. I am a certified mama’s boy eversince, and many times I disrespected him. But it does not affect his preference: he still loved me, cared for me, and was proud of me.

Until now, when I looked in the mirror I cannot see what others saw. Perhaps mirrors lie, or maybe I am just neglecting the obvious. I might not admit it, but I loved him too, was proud of him, was thankful that I came from him. I am sorry and grateful it is not too late.